Today I was feeling REALLY needy. I desperately wanted someone at 5am to talk to. I wanted them to listen to my rants about feeling down, being angry, and that I really really wanted a coconut popsicle. Everyone in the house was asleep. I couldn't even bother the dogs without getting a snarl. Then I started to wonder why I was feeling so needy and wanting so much attention. It wasn't the fact that I really wanted to talk to someone, I was just feeling very fearful about what lies ahead of me. I really wanted someone just to take away my problems and tell me under no certain terms that the future was solid. In reality, I know that the future is never solid and is forever changing, but it made me think more about fear and how it plays out in my world.
Fear can grip us as a whole community. It can make us hate and blame others for changes that we feel are out of our control. It can cause extreme feelings that make clearly rational people do nutty things. Fear always needs a scapegoat. It can freeze everything around us.
Just as fear can make us hate, it can also give us something to fight for, a challenge. This is the way I am choosing to look at it. When I began to get scared about my financial future, I instantly go into creative mode. I start to think of ways to pay bills, ways to create a positive environment around me so I don't get stressed. I think of ways to be resourceful. Fear also allows me the "I'll be damned" feeling. You know this feeling...I'll be damned if I let this get me down, defeat me, or allow it to scare me anymore. I begin to feel empowered by the strength that I sometimes forget I have.
The best way too take on fear is to not take it on at all. Now before you shake you head and say "Pam, what are you talking about?". Think about it. If you didn't take on fear but took on a new adventure-how great would that be? You would be embarking on something completely new to you. It's all about perception. You can stand frozen with fear or you can come out doing high leg kicks ready for that adventure.
Now, I don't want to be all preachy and all "warm group hug, wind beneath my wings" on you. I'm not going to make you sit in a circle and pass around a talking stick, but what I am going to do is tell you that embracing your fears, facing your fears and then letting them go is something everyone should do. Don't worry about what people think if you want to quit your computer job and join the circus. Let go of the fear of acting your age. Say goodbye to the fear of no control-it never looked good on your anyway. Say hello to a new adventure-you might be pleasantly surprised at what you find. It could be a new friend, a new thought or even a new you.
Ahh.....now I feel much better and I'm gonna go get that coconut popsicle.