Monday, December 5, 2011

Open Letter to Hallmark Channel

Dear Hallmark Channel,

Why, oh why do you create TV movies that you know will make me cry? Don't act like you don't know what I'm talking about.  You know what you are doing. Sure, your form is exactly the same, but I can't help crying each time you show it! . Boy and girl meet, there is some sort of problem  (the town Santa is retiring, their childhood memory is being torn down, a lost dog), they will fight and finally, they will end up together, in love and saving the town, Santa and the dog.

Even your animation makes me cry! Jingle All the Way...YOU LEFT A PUPPY OUT IN THE SNOW! Who does that? How is that a children's story? Sure, the puppy ends up just fine but for the first 25 minutes, you have me sobbing about a a stop motion animated puppy. You realize, you're killing me...right?

And then, last year, you bring out the big guns...Sam Elliott. It's like your little band of writers got together and said, "Let's see what will drive Pam right over that edge." Not only do you show Sam Elliott being absolutely wonderful but you throw in a little girl dying of cancer. Really Hallmark? Really? Sam Elliott and a little girl dying from cancer-you have just gone too far.

Now, I know I am doing a lot of complaining, and yes, I can turn the channel but the truth is, I love these movies. I want to live in that small Hallmark town that is free of all hate, helps eachother out and has Sam Elliott living in it. I love that you renew my faith in Christmas. I love that I get to have a good cry and in the end, the good guy wins and lessons are learned.

So, Hallmark Channel, with your well written formula, it may seem like I want you to change, but in reality, I'm asking for more. More people falling in love, more bad guys learning the true meaning of Christmas and more "B" movie actors renewing their careers. You keep churning them out, I'll keep watching.

Your biggest fan,

Pam

PS-just no more puppies in snow, okay? It took OMP days to calm me down from that one.

PPS-I really think Martha should invite me to be on her show. I am an excellent crafter. Can you make it on the day that everyone gets a free ipad. I really want one. Thanks!

4 comments:

schinders said...

i love you pammy. you are so cute and so funny. xxx

Crystal Rhew Staley said...

This is great! I'm a sucker for those movies, too and YES--I only watched November Christmas because Sam Elliot was in it. (drool)

I totally think Martha should have you on too ;)

Becky said...

I agree with ya Pam! But just soes ya know, I called dibbs on Mr. Sam Elliott before you was even noticing boys!

Bex said...

Come on over to Kansas City, home of Hallmark. :) We can drive over to their building and protest!