Monday, November 5, 2012

Dear Hallmark Part... (I lost count)

Dear Hallmark,

Well, well, we are again. It's the holiday season and you have stepped up and given me 12 new movies to watch. Aren't you the sweetest, and by sweetest I mean, why do you hate me so much? 

You are like a drug dealer! As much as I try and try, I just can't give up your sickening sweet feel good movies. I JUST CAN'T! WHY DO YOU DO THIS TO ME? 

Not only have you given me 12 new reasons to cry ,but you are playing movies from years past! You're secretly trying to kill me, aren't you? Do you have stock in Kleenex? I haven't even had a chance to put away my Halloween decorations and I am bombarded by single mothers, down on their luck and a town pulling together to help her and her five kids. Well, let me tell you what I did about it! I sat down on my couch, Kleenex on one side, the remaining Halloween candy on the other and I watched your silly movies and I cried! That's right! I sat through every one of those movies and cried with the occasional, "they love eachother so much," whimper mixed in for good measure. 

Oh, and if making me cry last weekend wasn't enough, you start showing nothing but holiday movies all day and night on November 9th! What the what? My DVR will only hold so many movies! 

And even worse, you are bringing back the puppy cartoon! Great, you're gonna put another puppy out in the cold. Super Hallmark, thank you very much. My heart just exploded. 

 I just wonder how you sleep at night on that bed of sap and cold puppy cartoons.  Hallmark, I hope you are happy with yourself.

Your biggest fan, 


PS-I am still  mad at you for taking Martha off the air and replacing her with Marie-but that's for a different time. You're lucky I'm in the holiday spirit, but just you wait. 

1 comment:

Poppy (xperimentl) said...

Yeah! Let's get our Hallmark on! Thanks for the heads up on the November marathon. I love sappy movie season.