Monday, July 13, 2009
Faster Tura! Kill! Kill!
It's not a secret that Tura Satana is considered a goddess in the Pedersen household. Her skin tight cat suits, heaving chest, and karate moves have made her a cult siren that has transcended genders and generations . She kicks ass, takes no sass and makes no apologizes about her own sexuality. She is a modern day feminist. She knows what she wants and refuses to take no for an answer.
Her most famous film, and the one that inspired the title of this website as well as a few more aspects of my life is Faster, Pussycat! Kill, Kill. The story isn't that deep. Three go-go dancers are on a fast and furious wild ride, encounter a couple out for some fun of their own. After ditching (literally) the boyfriend and kidnapping his girlfriend, they hatch a plan to rob an cranky old man, who has plans of his own for the girls. I really don't think you can go wrong with dialogue such as:
Gas Station Attendant: "Yes ma'am, what can I do for you today?"
Varla:" Just your job, squirrel. Fill it up!"
As the narrator states:
"Let's examine closely then this dangerously evil creation, this new breed encased and contained within the supple skin of woman. The softness is there, the unmistakable smell of female, the surface shiny and silken, the body yielding yet wanton. But a word of caution: handle with care and don't drop your guard. This rapacious new breed prowls both alone and in packs, operating at any level, any time, anywhere, and with anybody. Who are they? One might be your secretary, your doctor's receptionist... or a dancer in a go-go club!"
Actually, this sounds like a normal stitch and bitch Saturday night. Do a little embroidery, crack some skulls, wear skin tight suits and lust around town. Yep, a typical Saturday night.
The next fabulous movie and another one dear to my heart is Astro Zombies. Not only is this a great movie but a great Misfits song (Glen Danzig Misfits, not the crap today-yeah, I said it, crap). A disgruntled government scientist decides that he wants to build a superhuman creature, only he's not as smart as he is crazy and sleepfest ensues. He loses control of his superhuman critter and uncovers an international spy ring. Just a normal day at the office. Coincidentally, the same thing happened to me just last week! Tura once again plays the larger than life sexy vamp in this cinematic treasure ( and by sexy vamp I mean she basically lays around on the couch and reads the paper most of the the time - but wow, what a headline!).
Last but not least is The Doll Squad. A bunch of beautiful buxom ladies team up to take down an evil spy ring. Tura plays a small part in this film but her true personality is larger than life and she really is the most memorable part of the movie. I do have to give it to this movie, we have explosions, super kick ass females and a plot that I've been told was the basis for Charlie's Angels (I'm not really buying it, but if true, it just made this movie even more more important to me).
Jump into your muscle car, rev that engine and fill up your titillating tank with the steamy vixen known as Tura Satana. Ten bucks says that you couldn't last a lap with her, care to take that bet?