Monday, August 27, 2012

No More!

Dear Hollywood,

Usually you bring me endless hours of happiness and joy but there is one little peeve that has been sticking with me the last couple of years....the remake. There is no way possible you could have run out of ideas, so why do you continue to recycle old movies?  Why do you take good movies from the past and destroy them or even worse, take old show and make them into movies? No more! Please!

The latest reincarnation of Judge Dredd actually looks better than the one of my youth, but still...c'mon, have you been to a comic book store lately? There are million others to choose from. While we are on the subject of comic books, enough with making movies and shows from graphic novels! You will never ever do them justice, so just stop. I'm begging you. Just stop.

Because I want to help you out, the following movies are off limits:

  • The Thin Man (I've heard this is being remade with Johnny Depp, I don't care how cute he is-hands off Nick and Nora!)
  • A Christmas Story
  • Big Lebowski (unless it's 2 hours of Sam Elliott, than okay...I'll let it slide)
  • Plan 9 From Outerspace (you really can't mess with greatness)
  • Roadhouse 
If I hear that you are remaking these, I will personally come to your house and guilt you even worse than your mother does! It will not be pretty!
In conclusion, please give us more silly monster movies, more movies with Sam Elliott and will it kill you to throw me a Willie Nelson movie-just make sure that the ideas are NEW and FRESH! Recycle your cans, not your movies.

Hugs and butterfly kisses,
Your biggest fan,


Digital Misfit said...

The planned remakes of Dirty Dancing, Carrie, Pet Semetary, The Birds, and My Fair Lady piss me right off (though the last one may be forgiven as Colin Firth is allegedly attached to the project). Even Point Break is on the remake list!

LimeRiot said...

If anyone ever tried to remake Christmas Story, I'd travel to wherever they were filming and protest...loudly!!

Kelldandy said...

The ONLY way a remake of Dirty Dancing should be done is if it stars NPH and it is a gay romance. I'd go see that one. As far as My Fair Lady, I don't have too much of a problem with them remaking it because I feel Julie Andrews was shafted when they made it into a movie. Plus, I cannot get past Audrey Hepburn's lip syncing.

As far as movies that they should NEVER touch, I'd like to add Singin' in the Rain and Goonies.

I'd also like to beg of Hollywood to stop with the sequels!