Do you ever have those days that are just kind of "meh?" You know, those days where nothing is really wrong but you are just kind of "meh." I was having one but I knew I had to work myself out of it. I think it started with a pity party I was having. I was thinking about how I was when I was younger. I was cuter, I didn't have a care in the world...which led me to think about being creative and how, when I work really hard on something, I think it's awesome and people are less than impressed. This then led me to feeling sorry for myself and questioning my creative juices, my looks, my life and then I just sat down in tears and whined, "meh."
I knew I had to get out of this funk. I allowed myself a little whining, had some cake at my pity party and then picked my my presents and began to unwrap them. I first started with my looks.
I told myself, yes, I am not the same as I was 10 or 20 years ago. I will never be that person again. I now dye my hair a little more, I have a few more pounds on me and I now see laugh lines around my eyes. All of these things remind me of the life I have led and the laughter I have shared with friends. I will never be that 20 year old, staying up until the sun comes up. I now get up at that hour and take care of a furry family (OMP included). I will never be the pretty young girl again but I am an experienced woman. I don't get the looks I used to but you know what, I have now learned that my self worth is not determined by the attention of another. I am comfortable and confident in my skin and with myself and although I won't win any beauty contests, I'm happy with who I see in the mirror.
I decided to tackle my feeling of inadequacy in the creative department. Here's the deal. I make cutesy stuff and that will never change. Some people just aren't into cute stuff and that's okay. I don't like everything I see either. I looked at a piece I did recently and the lines were crooked-my first thought was to throw it out the window and start over. I wondered how people could do this project so easily while I couldn't even cut a stupid straight line. UGH! I just wanted to cry but I still put it out there. Even though my lines are a little off, I am still trying stuff. I'm still creating. I may fail at a few things or be a little off but I'm trying.
Last, I looked at my life as a whole. This is a big challenge because it is so easy to find the fault and the "things I don't have" instead of focusing on the things I do have. I do have a loving caring wonderful husband, I do have three little dogs that make me smile and giggle, I do have a beautiful house and good friends. I do have the ability to communicate, an education, my health. I have so much to be thankful for and yet, I find myself slipping into sadness and focusing on the negative. I finally decided to just breathe, to just feel and be thankful and allow myself to be in bliss
After reassessing my attitude and my "meh," I started feeling better. Instead of focusing on everything that I perceive is wrong with my life, I decided to embrace it. My body has carried me through a lot of amazing adventures, my creativity allows me to express how I want to see the world and my life is pretty blessed.
What do you do to get out of your funk and remind yourself of the good in your life? Do you allow it to weigh you down or do you rise above?
(See what happens when I don't write for two days?)
5 comments:
Sometimes I am really depressed by my life, or lack of one, but late at night, when I sit on my bed with my two dogs sleeping nearby, my iPod on, and something to stitch in my hands, I just feel soooooo happy.
First of all, you're nuts. All the things you make rock my boat! You are a fab maker and should never, ever stop making stuff. Ever. No throwing anything out of windows. Crooked lines add character... it makes it yours. Even the lines on your face add character.
You know, I posted something to a message board the other day and one woman HATED it, she said it actually frightened her! I was pretty damned dismayed at first and then realized that she must have been out of her mind. I say if someone doesn't like what you make, immediately chalk it up to them being crazy. This may not be true but it always makes me feel better :)
If I'm in a real funk I watch "Singin' in the Rain" or "Pee Wee's Big Adventure" both of which never ever fail to make me feel at least a smidge better.
Chocolate, hot bubble baths and a big fat drinks help too.
xoxo
Pam, I understand your "meh" day, but I must say everything you make makes me smile. We are expressing our souls when we create and everyone should have that privilege. Who cares if the lines aren't straight, or the stitches are a bit wonky. It is a part of you and every part of you is beautiful!
Everyone has days like this. It helps me to get out and find a change of scenery. I can be a homebody. You should know that your Pinterest pin board is the best of all that I follow. Your pins consistently make me smile.
Thank you so much for your honesty on a really crapola day. You are so brave, I'm afraid to even get in there and explore my "meh" days that much, let alone share them with the world. But then I get to read your post and see myself in every line, and feel ok for today. So, thanks.
I know hearing from someone else that you are incredibly beautiful, talented, inspiring, and just generally awesome doesnt't really chase the "meh" away. But hear it from me anyway, cuz it's true!
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