Monday, November 9, 2009

Just Say No!

I'll fully admit, I am a purist at heart. I like originals. None of this remake stuff for me. It's like the old saying-if it's not broke, don't fix it. This goes double for remakes of movies. If the original is so good, don't try to make it for a new generation. They should be forced to watch the beauty and splendor of the original (people wonder why I don't have kids).

Here are a couple of classics that still stand the test of time and should have stayed original.

Ocean's 11. Yes I know the remake had George Clooney in it. I know Brad Pitt is cute but this movie can not hold a candle  to the Rat Pack' version. Hello-Frank Sinatra and Dean Martin? Are you kidding me? Okay, fine, I'll come off my soap box for a minute and fill you in on the movie. The story centers around 11 old WWII buddies that plan to rob all of the casinos in Vegas. They have a master plan but of course something goes a little wrong. There is some mighty fine singing in this movie (I didn't see Brad or George do that!) and I love the stories of the guys filming during the day and doing shows on the strip at night. Nothing but class baby, nothing but class

Another travesty is King Kong. This one has been done several times and each time, it keeps getting worse and worse. The 2005 remake was so awful, I wanted to kick my own butt for even thinking of seeing it. There is something enduring, tragic and bottom line, just sad about the 1933 classic. Plus Fay Wray was adorable! The story is simple, girl meets ape, ape falls in love with girl, ape is exploited, gets mad, climbs Empire State Building and then dies. Sorry to ruin it for you but if you didn't know that by now,well,....we'll talk after class.

Psycho is another one that should just stay dead. Hitchcock is brillant. Gus Van Sant-eh, okay, not great but not bad either. To make the movie word for word  and scene for scene with Vince Vaughn seemed like a good idea but it's not, not at all! Anthony Perkins was Norman Bates. He was creepy and shy and you really felt for the guy. Vince (and don't get me wrong, I usually love him) was a cheap imitation. 

Planet of the Apes-not even going to say a word. I would have to sensor myself.

Other originals that you should see and stay FAR AND CLEAR of the remakes
Cape Fear
Thomas Crown Affair
Around the World in Eighty Days
Get Carter
The Preacher's Wife

Oh my goodness! I could go on and on and on but I think you get the message here. Don't  remake a classic that is perfect in every way. Hollywood-let us have our memories-think up original ideas. Whew! End of rant-slowly climbing off soapbox.  Wait, what was that? They are making movies out of old TV shows and comic books. Oh No! I feel another tangent coming on! I better leave before I really get started! Until Next Week Moviegoers.


Rachel said...

Oh I am SO with you on the remakes. And once I started really digging, I was shocked to see at how it seems almost every movie out there today is a remake! Is there no originality anymore?! *Sigh* They just don't make 'em like they used to!

OMP! said...

At least they quelled their fervor over colorizing the oldies. That really pissed me off! Once again - leave it ALONE!!!!

* said...

i agree with you. i wrote a post on remakes (thelma and louise) not to long ago and how it frustrates me.

leave them alone i say!

MafiosaGrrl said...

Yeah- most re-makes suck! Ok, the one I'm about to say, even I'm conflicted with. Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory. Trust me, I LOVE Tim Burton and there is no way I could ever get enough of Johnny Depp, hell I even liked parts of the remake. However, I will forever have a special place in my heart for the first one. It's been out for a few years, should I just get over it? Or is anyone with me on the Gene Wilder version?

Wulf said...

While there are countless examples like "The Pink Panther" and "Father of the Bride" to show why movies should never be remade (why does Steve Martin show up so often in these abominations?) we mustn't judge all remakes equally harshly. "The Maltese Falcon" was a movie that had already been done twice before they got it exactly right. Mel Brooks's "To Be or Not to Be" was a remake of an old Ernst Lubitch comedy, and is easily as good as the original - arguably better. The American Robin Williams version of "La Cage aux Folles" is a completely different thing than the lovely French original, but is just as good in its own way. The remake of "Little Shop of Horrors" is vastly better than the easily forgotten Roger Corman original (okay, Steve Martin redeemed himself there) and although people who remember their childhood nightmares from the original might disagree, I thought the remake of "Invaders From Mars" was pretty good.

But unfortunately that's just a handful against the vast wasteland of mistakes like "Swept Away", "Godzilla", "Halloween", "Texas Chainsaw Massacre" and so many others.

Although it would technically have been a sequel and not a remake, there was a very, very brief-lived TV version of "Casablanca" in the '80s, which was a lot better than you might imagine. Especially as it starred David Soul in place of Humphrey Bogart. Amazing but true!