Wednesday, May 23, 2012

Just Say No!

Do you have negative people in your life? The people who aren't necessarily nasty but just kind of always negative. If you say it's sunny and nice, they will complain about the heat or if you give them a piece of chocolate, they wonder why it's milk instead of dark. Do you know these kind of people? They don't break us down completely, but they chip away, each day, draining us of our happiness.

The problem with me is that I have tried in the past to fix these types of people. I have tried to make them happy and nothing ever worked. It was killing me! I tried jokes with them, moral support and even going to their pity part and you know what-nothing worked. I ended up equally as angry and sad. 

Finally, one day, I just gave up. I threw in the towel. I decided that their negativity was not for me to fix. It wasn't my job to show them my world. I had to love my life, enjoy my sunshine and be happy. See, I realized that in order to make the world a better place, I need to make me and my bubble a better place. I couldn't MAKE those negative nellies  happy, they needed to find it on their own. 

I had to decide at what level I wanted to be a part of the negative fan club. Did I want to be an active member or a visiting guest? I could be there for a shoulder to cry on, for an uplifting thought or two but I couldn't fix their outlook on life. Negative nellies have to fix their outlook themselves. No amount of cute baby animals, dirty jokes or uplifting motivational phrases are going to help them unless they really want it.

Once I let go of my notion to fix everything and make everyone happy, the weight on my shoulders disappeared. I knew that my smile was my own and if it made them smile too, great, if not, it's their problem, not mine. 

What I put out there is what I want to see in the world and I surround myself with others who feel the same way. Every day I give thanks to the happiness surrounding me. Some of those Debbie Downers may fall to the wayside and some may decide to see the world, even if for 5 minutes, through rose colored glasses, but I do know that it is their decision and not mine on how they view the world. 

How you see the world is how the world sees you. If you are always negative, then the world is a negative place, if you see the world as uplifting, inspirational and pretty damn great, then it will be. It is up to you.


LimeRiot said...

I've often times found myself trying to be the ray of sunshine for my negative nellies. Sometimes not being able to cheer them up would actually make me feel like there was something wrong with me. Your post is a good reminder that the best we can do is enjoy our own lives and appreciate all of our blessings.

spidermom said...

thank you for this post! sometimes i need to remind myself to not be one of those negative nellies and to scoop up the positive energy around me instead. :)

Unknown said...

One thing I noticed, for myself, being around negative people makes ME feel negative. I'm not a negative person. I don't like to feel that way as it goes against who I am. But, it also shows the power of peoples attitudes and how it can change others. I had to give myself permission to say.."your attitude (or stinky life) is not my problem" It didn't mean I didn't care..just means I care more about me. (I'm still working on this :0))
Wonderful post Pam...thank you!

Kendy P said...

I was recently reading a 'self help book' that stated that the things we find wrong in people are reflections of ourselves. That has kinda scared me!

Earlier in the year I had to give up a friend after having a blow out. This person is very negative and can bring a party down and on more than a handful of occasions did. I am no longer friends with said person however am nice if I seem him in public.

My dad is super negative and while I love him, there is only so much I can take. He complains that seeing him over coffee for an hour once a week is not enough but he is always the first to hurry up and go...I just try to brush it off...It only work sometimes. :/

Unknown said...

I think that's the hardest, when they are family. To me, I still have to set limits-otherwise I will get sucked into the well. The best thing to remember is that you can love them, but their negativity and crap is not yours. It can be so freeing, but super hard not to get caught up in it. It really does effect every part of you when you start going down their path. It can make you sick! Just keep breathing and look into yourself-be that reflection you want to see!

Digital Misfit said...

I think that MOST of my family should be named Nellie. It is hard to deal with the constant negativity, even when it is just the small stuff (actually, it is harder to deal with people who whine about the small stuff!).
I try to be a positive person (medication helps), and generally I am. The way I see it: I woke up this morning with a roof over my head, food in the fridge, luxuries like a computer, tv, air conditioning, heat, dear friends and family, and lots of books. Life is sweet.
Life is sweeter with people like you in it ♥